Gutted

Disclaimer: This is going to be a highly emotional post

I feel like I’ve lost a friend.

Or rather, I feel like a part of me just shriveled and rotted away. It’s like a sprout that was trying so hard to break out of the fertile soil, but slowly dies away due to the lack of nurture.

Sadly, nobody is to be blamed. Things just changed over time, and it was apparent others overtook and gave me a secondary role in the grand scheme of your life. I don’t know about you, but the grievance is not easy. I find out about your life through our mutual friends and they realized that I don’t know a single thing. They said ‘blood is thicker than water’, but is it really?

We used to wear matching attires, and laughed at the same jokes. We used to watch MTV together, and sing the latest hits at the top of our lungs. Now, we are instinctively and vastly different. They said ‘opposites attract’, but do they really?

I see how you constantly like and comment on our mutual friends’ social network activities. Yet, even when my post differed by a few minutes, you don’t throw in any greeting, nor check in on my status. They said ‘jealousy is the fear of comparison’, but is it really?

I’ve been told to stop over-thinking and exaggerating matters. I’ve been told to give you the benefit of the doubt. I’ve been told to forgive and forget. It has come to a point where it seems like I am the one who was holding the cards from the beginning of time, and I was the one who was controlling the game. But, is it really?

I know I’ve quoted from Frozen a couple of times, but Ana says it best:

“We used to be best buddies, but now we’re not, what am I gonna do? Do you wanna build a snowman? It doesn’t have to be a snowman…”