Probation

Come 4th November 2015, I will be lifted off my probationary period.
No, I was not sent to the juvenile court. It’s just some policy that most companies have when they recruit a fresh hire.

Anyhow, between my first date of employment till now, who would have known I would commit a mistake grave enough for my SAP (computer system) rights to be revoked?

It’s like telling a kid, “You are so stupid. Hence, give me back all your textbooks. You have no right to read it because of your stupidity.”

Fuck man. That’s just mean. And worse still if you meet your teacher, and he goes on to be sarcastic about your mistake….. in front of the entire class……

Or how about the times when he discusses about your mistake behind your back with everyone else in the school, but you??

Sigh.

Honestly speaking, those words above were flooding my mind when I realized what was going on. It took some prayer, some Googling of “Failure quotes” before I could bounce back. Oh, and that 1 hour evening run I had despite knocking off at 7pm that day.

Here’s one of my favourite quotes I chanced upon during my Googling:

And probably with the grace of God, plus Michael Jordan, I told myself, “You know what? Fuck it. What’s the worse that can happen?? They can fire me and I will go and sell ice cream. Done deal.”

My colleague was very nice to give me a handwritten note, with a cute button pin-on badge that read, “POSITIVITY IS KEY”. And a huge “SMILE” plastered on the card. :‘) That’s probably when I realized, God will cover me. And He has indeed sent angels to be with me, even at my darkest moments.

For now, as the saying goes, 'Once you hit rock bottom, the only way is up!’. Rightly so, I am slowly learning how to be thick skinned in this corporate world. I just hope these few years in the corporate setting, won’t strip away my true self - of living for my eulogy and being kind to everyone I meet.

We’ll see.