Solitude

Confession time: I hate being alone.

As horrible as humans are, as smelly as assholes will forever be, and how I always longed for some ‘alone time’ in SG, it’s true humans need each other to survive. Nobody can do things alone. Go ahead and quote me but it truly is worse when there is no interaction with any other living thing for a good 24 hours. #storyofmylife

I’m not here to write a sappy, pitiful story such that everyone starts to Skype me immediately, so let’s not go there. The main focus of this post is how we always say “The grass is greener on the other side” and truly that is so. We are in a constant search for an easier life, a happier one. But what’s a rainbow without a storm? Just as how this article points out,

“Because if you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want the costs.”

I happened to chance upon the article above when it was making its viral rounds on Facebook. Boy was I glad to have been blessed with the opportunity to read it! (Confession time Part II: I actually teared after reading the article). Why? Cos the article hit right home. It enlightened me of a hidden, dark side within my being I never knew exists. And you know how with all this free time on my hands right now, my mind goes into a state of overdrive. That’s where I start reflecting a little more, meditating a little more…

And then, also, this:

So yeah, the grass sure is greener on the other side. When I was in SMU I yearned to get out of that blood-seeking hell hole. But now that I am in KUL, I actually think SMU was okay… I mean, they provided everything for me and everyone was always around somewhere… And that’s it. We are never contented as human beings. We are perpetually trying to outwit, outplay, outlast (was that from the Survivor series? Cos it does sound familiar). Not just with one another, but with ourselves.

And as CS Lewis points out, we will forever be restless, until we find our rest in Him. True enough, walking through the church doors every Sunday at Saint Kwinten’s here in Leuven helps me feel a little less lonely. Albeit attending mass alone, I don’t feel alone alone. It’s a good feeling and it revives my drooping spirits. I am glad I have a God there for me when nobody else is. Because He sends angels to be with me when He sees me cry. :‘)

People like Choobs randomly Whatsapped me out of no where. And FF talked to me that day for a good, solid 1 hour. These were the little blessings that He gave to me. Of which, I would never have realized they were blessings had I not been alone all this time.

So yes, the grass is greener on the other side. But even if the grass is yellow on your side, whoever said it had to be green for a field to be pretty?

Nomz, Cam