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An open letter to you:

I love you. I always did. I will continue to love you till the end of my days.

Love is supposed to be unconditional. On good days, that’s an easy feat. On not so cheery days, love seems illogical to the human mind.

The past few days have been filled with anguish, anger, and resentment. Where raging words were flung across at each other. And now, we both battle the silence of this cold war that we knowingly started…

Everyday, I fight internally to be the person you wish I could be. But when I deviate away from that standard, you start becoming disappointed. Oh, how I long for the day, where I could do the things that keep me happy! The day where I could go distances without having to cause others to worry, because they know I will be home. The day where I could choose who to love and be together with, yet receive your blessings. The day where you support my dreams and aspirations, even though it lurks with risks. The day where all my thoughts that creep into my mind at night, can be fulfilled into reality the next morning.

Oh, how I long for that day.

Do note that I love you; have loved you; and will continue loving you no matter what.
xx.

When I look at how my friends’ parents willingly bless their romantic relationships, it makes me wonder what I need to do to win my own parents’ wholehearted blessings.

“Don’t compare your Chapter 1 with someone else’s Chapter 10”. Yes, I get it. But why do I feel like I am perpetually stuck in Chapter 1?? And if so, how do I get moving out of it?

The potential risks of marrying someone who is not Catholic is very real. And I am honestly scared. But the one thing I need, is everyone’s prayers. It’s like accumulating all these Spiritual ammo and attacking it such that the counter-party becomes slain. (Well, in this case, slained in the Holy Spirit hurhur).

Anyway, I was happy to hear the 2nd Reading of this Weekend’s Mass from the book of James. And I guess, that pretty much answers my own questions.

Wherever there are jealousy and ambition, there are also disharmony and wickedness of every kind;

whereas the wisdom that comes down from above is essentially something pure; it is also peaceable, kindly and considerate; it is full of mercy and shows itself by doing good; nor is there any trace of partiality or hypocrisy in it.

The peace sown by peacemakers brings a harvest of justice.

Where do these wars and battles between yourselves first start? Is it not precisely in the desires fighting inside your own selves?

You want something and you lack it; so you kill. You have an ambition that you cannot satisfy; so you fight to get your way by force. It is because you do not pray that you do not receive;

When you do pray and do not receive, it is because you prayed wrongly, wanting to indulge your passions.

Have you ever paused to wonder why God sends you these people that are currently in your life??

I am constantly trying to figure that out, brb.