Rewind (Part 1): Before SMU

As always, when I have to study for an exam, I will find all sorts of ways to ‘siam’ it. So here I am embarking on my Thanksgiving series. You know how Instagram and Facebook has been flooded with graduating quotes and pictures the past couple of days??

Yeah well, you can thank God that I won’t be throwing sheets of paper in front of Smoo Smoo (see picture below:) anytime soon. Nor will I be able to do that SMU jump at Campus Green. All because I failed one blardy exchange module. Ironically, that module is called CB for short. Maybe it’s not a coincidence? Boo, I need to stop burning myself haha.

So ANYWAY, as I mentioned, this is gonna be my attempt at rewinding and reminiscing my past 4 years in SMU. If you asked me to write one sentence to sum up those four years, it would be that “the experience was painful, but lots of friendships forged, and most importantly, SMU provided a pivotal point in my life where I learnt the most number of lessons at this juncture of my life”.

The Beginning



My closer buddies would know, I didn’t do exceptionally well for ‘A’ Levels. And although CJ gave me fond memories, those years were exceptionally tiring as well. For reasons that are best left as history and/or memories. When D-day arrived, I recalled how I collected my result slip with an innate fear that I tried to disguise. When I received the official slip from my home tutor, she proceeded to hug me. I didn’t know if that was a good or an ominous sign, but I only had the courage to look at my result slip when I was at the back of the Auditorium alone. “B, B, C, D” was shining forth in my direction.

To be honest, I was really apathetic about the grades. Partially because I was unsure what my grades meant in terms of application to the local universities, as well as what I really wanted to do in life. I can still remember that there were A GAZILLION other people around me who were all crying because they didn’t attain their full-ace scorecard. And I had to comfort them despite my own subpar grades. But maybe because of my deeds, God opened this door for me – an interview opportunity with SMU.

Preliminary Interview



SMU was, and is known to be grueling when it comes to the undergraduate admissions. Not in the typical academic sense, but there was a special component that no other local university had at that point in time - an interview with prospective students. It was like a real job interview. I only know of this now, as I see how large MNCs run assessment centers for aspiring Management Executives. But in the past, I saw it as an opportunity for me to shine through my voice, through my character and personal behavior. So that the offering-party will not be blinded by that “B, B, C, D” certificate in front of them.

Thankfully, my sister was in her final year at SMU when I just graduated from CJ. Coincidentally, she had a friend who was in her FYP group and he was casually asking her if there was anybody who just attained their ‘A’ Level results and was interested in joining Dragon Boat. I am thankful my sister thought of me there and then.

To cut the long(er) story short, he was the one who then liaised with OSL, who then got in touch with me shortly. Thereafter, my first interview was scheduled. I can still remember what I wore to the interview. I recalled thinking to myself, “Well if this is the Sports Office, I should be dressed in a more casual and sporty manner, right?”
So I donned a grey long-sleeved GAP blouse, jeans, my green canvas Crocs covered shoes and had my long fringe pleated nicely to the side. (Why the heck do I remember all of this?????)

It was held at the OSL Safety side where they had meeting rooms and I entered the first room (which currently is so messy lol). I remember Alan, Fred and Roy interviewed me. 3 men to 1 girl. I was petrified and unsure what kind of crazy interview it was going to be. “Were they going to make me do a push-up challenge?” I thought to myself. But okay la, there were other candidates waiting outside the room too for their turn.

At the interview, Alan said to me, “I see that you have applied for LKCSB as your first choice. But your grades are at the 10th percentile and below range. I’m not so sure if that’s a wise choice. Why don’t you look at other schools such as SIS or School of Economics?” Then after I answered his question on why I thought a Business Management Degree was most suitable for me, he shot me the hardest question in my life. “Okay. If you want to study business, can you tell me what does POSB stand for?”

I was stumped.

“Well, I know P stands for Post I think. But I will be frank and tell you that I don’t know what the whole acronym stands for. I do know it’s a bank from Singapore though, that is for sure.”

Then Fred added, “You used to be in canoeing right? How will this be applicable to Dragon Boating though?” Let’s just say my confidence level shrank to the negative regions after I couldn’t figure out what POSB stands for. Then I had to tackle this question when I have never ever done Dragon Boating in my life. So I kinda fluffed some stuff up and replied, “We need that same physical strength and determination.”

That was where Roy stepped in to help rebut Fred’s point and tell him how a canoeist is a lot like a dragon boater. I was honestly very touched and relieved by his efforts. :‘) And to Roy, if you ever come across this post, Thank you.

Well so after this preliminary interview, Camster being a loser felt demoted. She went to Cathedral of the Good Shepherd, sat at the pew that was beside the organ, knelt down and started to bawl. I thought I had flung that interview. “That was my one and only chance at studying in a local university”, I thought. (Back then, both NUS and NTU had already sent me rejection letters). And just because I failed to be smart enough to know what POSB is in full, I thought I had lost that last chance.

I remember kneeling there crying and sobbing telling God how I felt so useless. How in my whole life, I could never achieve something great. Not in academics, not in sports, not in music… There just wasn’t any activity I could seem to excel in. And the pressure to enter a local university so that I won’t be a financial burden to my parents was immense. After a good 30 mins, I walked out of the church feeling a little less demoted than before, and I went to work at Lasalle.

The LKCSB Interview



After the OSL interview, I got an email and a call (I think?) to ask if I were free on ABC-day at XYZ-time. God gave me a second chance!!!!! This time, I was ready to answer any weird questions. I went to research I think 99% of all bank names in Singapore (LOL). But the eventual interview was just a case study which I forgot the contents but it was about education in Singapore. So thereafter, we had to kind of present our views and engage in a group discussion with about 5 other individuals that was facilitated by a professor. Her name is Rani Tan. She had a very Motherly aura and I recall how I calmed down after she started the interview with a smile saying, “I am not here to penalize you. I want all of you to pass through this as well. So just relax and smile okay!”

A couple of weeks later, I received it in my letterbox.

Up to this date, I still keep this letter in a mini box because it means a lot to me. It was a gift from God most definitely, with the help of my family and friends whom I kept asking them to pray for me. :’)

Finally. “A Singapore Management University Undergraduate”. An identity that I would proudly begin to associate myself with. Today, I still am very proud to be labelled as an SMU (soon to be) graduate.

This was a highly pivotal juncture in my life too. It was the time where I saw that I may not be academically or musically inclined. Heck it about being athletic too man! I was blessed. Beyond blessed. And I failed to see it especially during my darkest moments. And I told myself that I will use these 4 years in college to be a better person that God wants me to become. All glory and praise is His, and His alone. For without God, I am nothing.

Stay tuned for Part 2 as I relish the Freshman year of my SMU journey!