I sat still with mere thumb movements.
scroll
scroll
scroll.



It was a repetitive motion I had performed at least 10 times a day. When I wake, when I commute to work, on the toilet bowl, at work, during lunch, during breakfast, before I sleep…


FF had slipped in to use the luxurious washroom at Carlton Hotel, while I sat there scrolling through the contents of what my followers on Instagram had to show.

Suddenly, sadness overwhelmed and engulfed me like a tornado. :(


“Why did everyone’s life seem so carefree?”


“Why the heck is everyone on vacation now??”


“How do people afford to eat good looking and delicious food all the time?!”


“Why is everyone frolicking in snow or kissing their significant other with a gorgeous scenic backdrop?”

And there I was, frumpily dressed (thanks to whoever who invented dress-down-Fridays), sitting in a 5-star hotel waiting for my boyfriend to finish his...

Come 4th November 2015, I will be lifted off my probationary period.
No, I was not sent to the juvenile court. It’s just some policy that most companies have when they recruit a fresh hire.

Anyhow, between my first date of employment till now, who would have known I would commit a mistake grave enough for my SAP (computer system) rights to be revoked?

It’s like telling a kid, “You are so stupid. Hence, give me back all your textbooks. You have no right to read it because of your stupidity.”

Fuck man. That’s just mean. And worse still if you meet your teacher, and he goes on to be sarcastic about your mistake….. in front of the entire class……

Or how about the times when he discusses about your mistake behind your back with everyone else in the school, but you??

Sigh.

Honestly speaking, those words above were flooding my mind when I realized what was going on. It took some prayer...

So the skies today were C.L.E.A.R. (cues: heavenly music)
Even though the NEA app on my phone clearly said the 3 hour-PSI was in the “Unhealthy” range (PSI > 100), there were still many joggers and kids playing around at the void decks. I suppose everyone in the neighbourhood made their own judgement to see how untainted the skies were today. And they just had to be outdoors, frolicking in the sun.

After skipping home from work, soaking up whatever’s left of the setting sun, I too, went for a jog!! :‘) the air was probably too pristine for me that my lungs weren’t used to it…. haha I kid. I am just one heck of a fat blob right now. Not used to such intensity and also currently battling a very weak willpower status…

(That’s me. With, “all day dining”, they said)

So anyway, here’s my take on the haze situation the past couple of weeks:

1. Indonesia has the dumbest ministers who say the...

An open letter to you:

I love you. I always did. I will continue to love you till the end of my days.

Love is supposed to be unconditional. On good days, that’s an easy feat. On not so cheery days, love seems illogical to the human mind.

The past few days have been filled with anguish, anger, and resentment. Where raging words were flung across at each other. And now, we both battle the silence of this cold war that we knowingly started…

Everyday, I fight internally to be the person you wish I could be. But when I deviate away from that standard, you start becoming disappointed. Oh, how I long for the day, where I could do the things that keep me happy! The day where I could go distances without having to cause others to worry, because they know I will be home. The day where I could choose who to love and be together with, yet receive your blessings. The day where you support my...

“How has life been?”, they asked.
All she could do was stare blankly right back.
If only she could share just a fragment of her thoughts that run wild every night.
“Life has been good, guys. Thanks for asking.”

Lies.
Blatant lies.

On the one hand, nobody wants to be kept in the dark. Yet, on the other, nobody wants to listen to shit stories of someone else’s life. That leaves us with puzzling mysteries we to figure out daily.

Complicated human beings who practice lip service, yet behave in a separate manner. Dealing with my own emotions, by myself, is hard enough. But having to deal with someone else’s emotions? Maybe. If I had additional bandwidth to deal with it. If not, how else do you suppose I help you, when really, you don’t even intend to help yourself????

I probably will never be a psychiatrist nor a good counsellor. But I will assure you this – and that I am a loyal and...

Did I tell you I have a CCTV behind me in office???!!!
My computer screen faces the CCTV and it just annoys me knowing that whatever I type could very well be seen by whomever and whatever…… SEVENMONTH

Ok nevermind joke over. I don’t wanna joke over such stuff anyway.

So I am rotting day in and day out at office, and it makes me nervous. Having to keh-siao that I have things to do isn’t exactly my cup of tea. And it doesn’t help that I have a CCTV behind me. But heck it. I have decreased the zoom size of this page to 25% just so I can type here and kinda “have something to do”……..

Lifting my phone up to type is too obvious so that’s a tough one. Using Facebook and Instagram are definite no-nos.

So I Google things like: What is Productivity?, and Channelnewsasia.com everytiem.

I have friends in this company, but they sit downstairs in the HR department. So it doesn’t look nice on my...

I am so stoked!!!! Are you? I really wonder why I am so patriotic sometimes… haha but it’s okay. I guess being patriotic means that whatever the older people talk about our generation, is blatantly unsubstantiated and untrue.

So anyway, @beatt92 has been asking me to blog. But truth is, I have NOTHING to type out. Maybe because I haven’t had the time to be alone to just inhale deeply and think. (ah yes, no wonder most writers/authors always isolate themselves on a reclusive island or something!)

But since I chanced upon this saga about the RI principal mentioning to the students, alumnus and parents in his speech about how RI needs to re-invent the “elite” wheel. And then, this other article popped out on my Facebook newsfeed as well.

Remember how I said I definitely want to send my future daughter to IJ next time? And to be honest, it’s precisely why, from my interaction with other...

So there is a saying that “打是疼，骂是爱”………….
Truth be told, I have been constantly nagged at till no end recently and I am starting to get so vexed out.

Those who know me best, would know I am not the sort of person to take things lightly. If one day you said I was fat, short and ugly, I will live my whole life thinking that I am fat, short and ugly. If you complained about Person X’s behavior to me, I will live my whole life trying to prevent myself from becoming like Person X, such that you will never have to complain about me, to Person Y.

Yeah, so I don’t take things lightly and I don’t take criticisms well. And I am always concerned about what people (will) say about me. So I live my life at home with such exasperation that it’s making me tired.

I guess the closer you are to someone, the more one becomes myopic. Oh what an irony.

It’s funny how God plans for something.

I hated Belgium. And I probably still do.
But the only good thing I took away was meeting Nathalie at St. Kwinten’s Church.
When the whole ang-moh world thought they were too cool for me, there comes an angel who isn’t exactly proficient in the English Language, trying to introduce herself and where she is from.

Being a Spaniard by blood, ancestral lines traced back to Holland, but raised in Belgium, she’s a pretty confusing person if you asked me. However, due to the diverse nature of her upbringing and history, she practically is “quad-lingo-abled”. (If that is even a legit word)

Long story cut short, I was given a chance to meet an Opus Dei coordinator, Carmen in Singapore. And since then, I felt like I was being asked by God to give it a shot to be holy in my lay work. When I sit in the public bus beside a wailing kid or aunties complaining...

As of 8 July 2015, I remain unemployed, fat like a bitch ball (oh sorry, didn’t see that. I meant “beach” ball), unfit, and unwell.

Being denied a free health checkup at the School Clinic because my Matriculation Card, I quote unquote, expired.

Yet, being underpaid severely because the same University who issues me my Degree scroll fails to recognize me as a Graduate in their own office. Being shortchanged of $4/hour isn’t very nice. And if you want to “expire” my Matriculation Card, you jolly well take me as a Graduate then. There’s no take one, leave the other.

Be a Different U, they said.

Whatever, I retort.

Anyhow, collecting my Graduation Gown signifies leaving school. And if leaving school means leaving toxic friends who weigh you down, then by all means. I am starting to re-evaluate my friendships with people who only come to you when either, (A) they are in an...