For the lack of a better title, let’s just name this post a random colour.

To me, Teal is a colour that is both Green and Blue combined.

(Where blue = clear skies, and Green = bamboos) as you can see from my Kyoto trip below! Haha whoever keeps telling me that I suck as a photographer, bitch please.

Anyway as random as teal came to my mind, the inception of this post is equally as random. Some couple of weeks ago, my momma had to undergo a minor surgery cos of womanly woes. And because of that, there have been a series of follow-ups at her Doctor’s clinic. So momma and I spent quite a number of mother-daughter bonding moments together as I accompanied her to the hospital and to the clinic.

Truth be told, I loved every minute of it :‘)

The past few weeks together, Momma and I have been inseparable. We did aerobics together, cooked our meals together, cleaned the house together...

So…. SEA Games 2015 is coming to an end real soon. The only match I will be looking forward to is the Men’s Water Polo match tomorrow, since YY is playing. (Read: Act like I know someone in the team hahaha)

So proud of Terna & Sara (both from SMU Sailing) for winning their Gold medals yesterday!! And to the Dragon Boaters who albeit had no publicity, fought hard and showed the entire DB Community what SG can be made of. Lastly, the canoeists who showed how strong their mental and physical capabilities are. I was really proud of my CJC Canoeing senior, Steph for bagging I-don’t-even-know-how-many-Gold-medals.

Watching all the athletes race made me reminisce the crazy times I had to train in DB. Ok la true, it’s nothing compared to what the Team SG athletes have to be put through. But I sure do miss that kind of intensity.

To be honest, people who tell me I am not fat/very fit...

For the benefit of those whose Chinese ain’t that good, you ought to be ashamed of yourself!! Haha because nobody’s Mandarin is supposed to be worse than mine! But for the benefit of those whose Mandarin is really worse than mine…. let’s have a moment of silence for our dear brother and/or sister hahaha ok kidding. It means “every family has their own problems.” And rightly so, it is a proverb for a very good reason.

Why am I becoming such a Cheena-piangster? I absolutely have no idea. But the past few days have been good to me. So maybe I just wanted to use some brain cells and show off, can?? Anyway, Momma has to go for an operation tomorrow and it partially worries me. My wrist and thumb has been feeling dislocated the past few days, and I am annoyed with myself for being such a handicapped-useless-fatty-blob. I still remain unemployed with no motivation or drive to search for a...

Ya okay I just wanted to relive that Dr. Tan moment. Please don’t burst my bubble :(
All my life, when someone asked me “So Camelia, what would you like to be when you grow up?” I would always reply with full fledged confidence, “I am going to be a Doctor!”

And then the dream probably died in Secondary school after I studied Biology and realized I was not that A-star student despite enjoying every session of class. Oh wells. It is indeed funny how this World works.

So here I am preparing for my interview and I am reading up all over again, as if I were studying for a Supply Chain module. I keep telling myself, “come on Cam, you have to memorize all of these by hook or by crook if you wanna impress the hiring manager”. Not sure about you, but have you ever wondered what if you screwed up at work??? I mean, what if you were so sure about something, made the decisions to act upon those...

I took a nap this afternoon. But before my eye lids could close fully, and my mind could drift off, I was swarmed with guilt.

Guilty for taking a nap when I really should be practicing what I suck at. (i.e. Computer Simulation). Guilty for not better using my time to find a job. Having absolutely zero drive the past few days. Everyday when I switch on my laptop, I typically only have 2 agendas. I tell myself to open up the Arena Software and to check my email. Period.

Along the way, I guess my brain and hand-eye coordination failed to communicate properly. So here I am, always ending up doing all sort of random things – learning “Do you Wanna Build a Snowman” on piano, reading my Kindle once more, looking at my very large pores on my face, making pots of green tea just so I can hear the kettle roar, checking instagram and looking at random popular posts, scrolling tumblr incessantly...

I think I am not very good at dealing with failure/mistakes. People often tell me things like, “But you learn more when you fail”, or “Successful people make mistakes too”. Bullocks to that statement, my friend.

I’m not discounting the facts of their POV. I’m just saying that when you’re in the rut, it’s hard to visualize on any pathetic rainbow if any. All I see are grey skies with thunderclaps. Very apt weather today, thanks.

And ya okay, I may not have worked as hard as the other dude. But I really need to know when is it ever enough??? When can I start excelling at something for once in my life? Really though. Feeling like a mad loser right now, fml.

This took a while, so sorry.


I have been quite busy with……. life as an undergraduate + unemployed lol. Everyone is traveling all over for their grad trip and here I am, presenting Cammy stuck in SOB SR 2-8, thrice/week every mornings hurhur. Anyway, here’s Part II that stupiak beatt92 has been pestering me for!!!

Welcome to SMU, Year 1: Aug 2011 - April 2012

I never knew I had so many fond memories in my first year at SMU until I dug out all the pictures from my external hard-disk. On the one hand, I am happy to have had those memories. And on the other hand, I am also sad that some of the memories will have to stay as memories and will never have its chance to be relived. RIP, Malcolm. :‘) I guess that’s what they mean by living in the moment? You don’t realize how sweet the experience is, until after it’s gone.

1. Convocation

To be honest, no matter what squabbles or petty...

As always, when I have to study for an exam, I will find all sorts of ways to ‘siam’ it. So here I am embarking on my Thanksgiving series. You know how Instagram and Facebook has been flooded with graduating quotes and pictures the past couple of days??

Yeah well, you can thank God that I won’t be throwing sheets of paper in front of Smoo Smoo (see picture below:) anytime soon. Nor will I be able to do that SMU jump at Campus Green. All because I failed one blardy exchange module. Ironically, that module is called CB for short. Maybe it’s not a coincidence? Boo, I need to stop burning myself haha.

So ANYWAY, as I mentioned, this is gonna be my attempt at rewinding and reminiscing my past 4 years in SMU. If you asked me to write one sentence to sum up those four years, it would be that “the experience was painful, but lots of friendships forged, and most importantly, SMU provided a...

Sometime back, FF and I laid down side by side. It was nothing sensual not to worry. Rather, both of us laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling and started talking about deep stuff. (Haha for the benefit of those who don’t already know, our relationship comprise of such deep-in-thought moments most of the time & of course with a sprinkle of retardedness every now and then)

We delved into topics such as ethics and how whether it was ethical for people to play the lottery. It was pretty much a harmless debate and each side whipped out whatever ethics principles we could possibly recall from LGST 101 to defend our argument.

He: I don’t see why it is an issue if people want to use lottery as their only source of hope. Think about those peoples whose lives have no more meaning maybe because they are stricken with illness and nobody cares for them. So striking the lottery will be their...

I guess all my blog posts have been so depressing recently since this space is always a good white wall for me to vent all sorts of thoughts running wild in my brain.

So here’s a happier post!!

Yesterday, the Tri-Challenge (Reigning Champion) Team hahaha consisting of Jo, Zisong and myself finally treated ourselves to that winning lunch after one year?! Lol. And I finally managed to step into Straits Cafe @ Hotel Rendezvous to have a try at their Buffet. To be honest, it was nothing fantastic. And the crowds that you commonly see whenever you walk past, then you think to yourself, “is the food really that good??”
They are all business guests who are probably lodging at the hotel.

But there was a particular old lady service staff whom in my opinion had a tremendous positive attitude – always serving with a smile on her face. She even went to take out more durian puree when I casually...